I published an ebook on the Kindle store this week. I was just messing around with formatting and options. I was curious to go through all of the steps and see what it would take to get something in the store. I have a lot of writing that has never seen the light of day and I bundled up something that I had laying around and I wanted to see. I wanted to do the whole process. I thought that by going through the steps it would take some of the mystique out of it and I can see that I should continue with an idea that I had for an ebook.
I played with all the setting and wrote my name in the author field and I did all the stuff. Then I hit a button and I was hoping to just save it as a draft but I ended up publishing it for review by Amazon. I was terrified when I found out what I have done. I looked for ways to cancel and bring the book back into the dark corners of my brain. I looked and I looked. But, to no avail, the red pending was still on my screen. I walked away thinking that I would just remove it once it would go live and nobody would see it.
Then, I started to think about it and I got excited. I got excited that one of the things from my goals list would be done. I ended up starting to rewrite some chapters and pieces of content. I find myself wanted to tell people about it. “Hey, I Did I thing..”
I know it was not my best work. I am almost embarrassed by it. But, I feel like hitting submits take some of the stigmas out of doing it in the first place. You never love the first go at anything. You make mistakes, you forget things and you learn along the way.
Sometimes you just have to fucking ship something. Here it is in all its weird glory!
Each morning, I could wake up and think about a million excuses to start the day off with. The mind goes into a million different places when you wake up. Today, I wanted to try to do something different. I wanted to think about something really good first thing in the morning. Thinking about the things that get me excited to wake up in the morning.
I felt a bit better starting my day off. I thought it was always bullshit to wake up and think about what are you grateful for each day.
Then today, I read this post by Ryan Holiday. The quote “Being Curious Is a Career.” I just never saw it like that. He also goes on to say “I think the way you get paid to do that is by making that curiosity valuable to other people” and “You can’t just nerd out — there has to be value creation.”
I really like the thought of this. It just was something that was important for me to think about. I have been on this journey lately and asking myself a lot of questions. I like reading all of these types of articles as they can be stimulating. It gives me hope that I can craft that career and mission that I envision.
Rejection is a hard thing to deal with for me. Sometimes, it is something that can be washed away and moved onto the next thing. Then there is this other said where you start to believe in some of these things that you were being told.
It seems like at each stage in my life I have always had someone tell me that I couldn’t do this or that. I almost wanted to make a list of all those moments and how they impacted me. But, I was talking to a good friend today and he said something that really stuck with me.
“It’s just fuel. you get to choose the fire you put it in”
Today, started with a fury of ideas. I woke up and just really enter into a flow and things was flowing. I was seeing some of my ideas and projects that I have been thinking about in a different light. I was feeling like I haven’t in months. Then a few curveballs were being thrown at me.
But, as I often to do try and change my mindset I put open on a podcast and I heard this quote.
“I wanted to validate my weirdness”
It was one of those perfect moments as that sums up entirely how I felt in the moment. I feel like I haven’t had that moment to validate my path or even just a wink to it.
I generate ideas and I never act on them. I talk myself out of them. I say that I am not good enough. I don’t have enough skills. How does this fit my brand and my audience? I don’t have a brand and audience. But, I need to get those.
The lists can go on and on. But, I have to make some sort of change and that change starts now. The urge of shipping and just trying new ideas are going to brought to the forefront. I am not going to be afraid of that the fact that my interest brings me into a lot of wide topics and different areas. I am going to celebrate them all. I am going to create things that bring value into the world and that harness discussion. I am going to create things that are fun and that I want to see in the world.
Below are a few projects that I have been kicking around. But, haven’t done much with them.
Personal Blog – personal blog, daily commentary.
imaginary.club – Old project that I still really like make I want to make it a little more focused. VR/AR lets look at what is next and figure out how it works. I would love to try a podcast component with this as well.
The Weakness of Strength – A Podcast about falling in love for each person’s perspective. Each week hear their side of the story.
Peaceful Wolf – Tools to help peaceful protests, online tools to block hate and spot fake news.
Also, I Would love to release more courses. It was a task that I did find some enjoyment from them. It helps
I am going to change my mindset from lists and lists to launching and experiment with all of the ideas. Things will go well and things will go south. The goal is to make sure that I empty the tank every day.